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Then you see these movies, and songs, and blogs like this, that talk about how special love is.

36 Definitions Of Love, According To Urban Dictionary | Thought Catalog

That it is natural. I struggle because I love deeper and stronger than I could ever put into words. I have two children and the love I have for them can never be verbally expressed. I loved and still love their father, but after six years of holding on to the hope that one day he would love me, I have finally come to grips that he doesn't and is not capable of it. It has just reaffirmed my belief that love in a romantic sense does not exist.

I think the only reason I love as deep as I do is because of what my parents did to me as a child. Love exists, but it is so rare that it can be insensitive to promote it so much when children who grow up in homes where they are indeed unloved grow up with an extremely damaged self esteem, and think "why not me" "why am I unlovable" etc. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I'm surrounded by a world that advertises this concept of love and I'm longing for someone or something to make me feel safe, and secure and to love me back.

It's hard to explain, much like the definition of love. But I do understand what you are saying. I feel the same way.

What Is Love? The Definition Behind It

For many it is hard for them to understand what it is like to know you were unloved in the most lovable stage of your life, as a child. It is damaging, to say the least. Okay, so with Haddaway off to the side, I'd like to say that you, Doctor, have made some very good points. Now that I think of it, I guess love is a force of nature, but possibly not for the same reason.

What is Love?

I believe love on a human and earthly scale is just whatever jiggles around up there in our noggins. If one was born without the right parts, love would be absent, and if all animals, in particular mammals, didn't have the right parts, that force would exist. Also, think back to those horrible documentaries of the formation of life. It wasn't love that was keeping the organisms alive. Because I am far from an expert, I can't say when animals could love or when animals existed , but before that point But what about the different types of love?

I love my food. I love my family. I love my lover go figure. I love my dog. I love the [sports team here]. I love my hobby. And lets say I love my fictional Aunt Betsy Who hasn't had that family member who you love, but being in the same room for more than a few minutes has the potential for hair ripping, black eyes, and numerous deposits in the swear jar? In this scenario, love has no force but to make sure both her and I brag about excellence in our Christmas cards. And it's true that love wasn't earned because we are family.

It was just there. Comments anyone? Animals protect their young instinctively that appears, to us, as love. That's fine because protection is an act of love and an instinctive act. Why do we love our children, no questions asked? In this sense, it can be described as a force of nature because it just happens automatically.

You immediately protect, defend, care for your child. That would mean we all unequivocally are born with the capacity to love, even if its just our children. Love can't be earned.

Is Love an energy, an action, or a feeling?

That's interesting. It is because the person who is feeling the love for someone else is a one way street, you could say. Why someone loves a person has to do with that someone, not the person. When our teenagers throw a fit and scream how much they hate us, w'e don't take it personal. We love them and tell ourselves, this is a phase, this is a phase. Not when you're young, but when you start becoming a little person. There are parents if you want to call them that who withhold their love from a particular child, not necessarily all, because of some whatever reason.

Her hair is curly.


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She has blue eyes and I don't. These people don't know what unconditional love is. They have all these conditions, they stereotype, they're disingenuous and shallow-hearted. I was a victim of that. The different types of love? That's just semantics, using the word "love" in place of what could be instead "I most enjoy reading". So, those aren't loves.

Would you not say that love has an element of caring for the well being of others. If you love your "Aunt Betsy" in that you care for the well being of her, even if you would rather not hang out with her, then could that not be said to be some form love? Yet, you do not know your Aunt Betsy's neighbor and therefore probably do not care about her well being as much as you do your Aunt Betsy.

What is common with all forms of love? You love your food, your family, your lover, etc. Your neighbor's loves do not move your emotionally but yours does, so it is the emotional quality that makes all the forms of love the same. Because trying to define the difference of loving a spouse, versus an aunt, versus ice cream does not make sense, I know that I don't love anyone else like the way I love my husband. He has the best of my love. Everything else? Well, I think we toss the word love around too much, but for lack of other words available I guess we don't have a choice.

Caring has everything to do with loving; both in caring about someone and actually caring for someone. No, you don't love things like you do people. Things are desired, wanted, craved, obsessed over, played, etc. Love is action that has to be received.


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Inanimate things can't receive or know. But, anything animate can be given love, affection, caring: people, animals. What is common in love--it would be nice if it was given unconditionally; but, short of that, it is the act of giving, I think. It doesn't have to be received. Would you not agree that love in all its forms has some commonality, that there is a 'going out' of oneself towards something beyond ourselves, which is usually the object of our love?

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When a person loves something they are expanding and embracing that something, in a way including that something within themselves or becoming one with it. If you love ice cream you eat it and it becomes one with you. If you love a person you marry them "and the two shall be as one". Love is schizophrenic - and its meaning differs according to the context. The feeling it inspires could range from obsessiveness and passion to calm joy and warmth - depending on the type of love and the object of affection. The more volatile emotions are often, I think, not "true love" in that it is often of the romantic nature in which jealousy and possessiveness are part and parcel.

Thus, it usually isn't unconditional - but in some cases it may be. More interesting is how we differently respond to and accept love - and how we recognize it. You just know. You know when someone loves you, whether you love them back like that or not.

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What Is Romantic Love?

You also know when you love someone. Love is authentic.

That's basically the ONLY thing it is. Love is the one thing that is NOT real. It's all in our heads and driven by chemical processes. All thought, emotion, experience, etc. Just because "it's all in our heads and driven by chemical processes" doesn't make it any less real. All experience requires the experiencer and without it there is no experience. When one looks at a frog, one can usually immediately see that this creature is a frog. Let us take scalpel, forceps, tweezers, other implements and dissect this frog to see what it is made of. First, of course, we should kill the frog: it would not do to vivisect this living, breathing, swimming, singing, mating, beautiful little animal.

Now, we can begin the dissection, to discover the secrets of its frog-ness.